i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
