It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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