i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my being single is dangerous.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize