I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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