I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
