Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You can't special order awesome
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
