..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
