Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
