Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
