the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
