Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
