i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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