Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
