Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
