road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
