I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
