I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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