Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
