Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
