But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
