Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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