my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
