If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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