lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
