If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
