so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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