I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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