we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
In America we eat man semen.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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