I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
