i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
