Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
