i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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