Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
