I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
