Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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