i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
