ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I accidentally had phone sex last night
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize