I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
