im about as happy as oj after his trial
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
