if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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