So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
