If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
