I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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