At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
