She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I need to calm my uterus...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
