so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
