Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
