i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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