I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
40s are totally the cure
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
