awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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